Sextortion is a threat to the next generation. Let’s be aware of the danger and be willing to talk about it.
What is sextortion?
Sextortion is “extortion in which a perpetrator threatens to expose sexually compromising information (such as sexually explicit private images or videos of the victim) unless the victim meets certain demands.”[i] Victims often know their extorters. A current or former boyfriend or girlfriend may have an image the victim sent to them confidentially, believing their interaction was personal and private. Then the offender uses the content against them.
In some cases, victims haven’t met their blackmailer in person. I’ve read documented accounts of teens who took their own lives after they were sextorted online. One such teenage boy thought he was interacting with a teen girl on Instagram. Only it wasn’t a teen girl. And the predators recorded the “sexual encounter.” They threatened to send the video to his friends and family if he didn’t pay them. He died by suicide.
Boys and girls alike get caught in these schemes. These preteens and teens believe wholeheartedly they’re communicating with a peer or someone who loves them. They trust the person on the other end of the screen. The victim complies with requests made under false pretenses. Then the threats begin. Sometimes offenders ask for money. Other times, they ask for more images or videos which can be uploaded to pornographic sites. They tell the victim to comply or they will send what they have to their friends and family.
I attended a webinar last week with 500 other people, a record-breaking turnout for the organization that sponsored the event. The webinar covered social media, substance abuse, and gaming. Specifically, the speaker explained how these issues connect to sextortion and human trafficking. The number of people in attendance signaled to me how important this information has become and how driven we are to help the next generation.
The Social Media Connection
Social media has been a topic in the news recently because the US Surgeon General called for warning labels on social media platforms “to alert users that the platforms can harm children’s mental health.”[ii] Whether or not we agree with the Surgeon General’s request, most parents want to protect their children from any type of harm. To that end, our children should understand the down side to social media—mental health issues, bullying, brain development problems, and potential exposure to predators attempting to lure them into trafficking or sextortion.
A startling fact emerged from the webinar: Low risk children can be caught in this behavior, too.
We tend to believe only at-risk youth are lured into sextortion or trafficking. At-risk includes youth who live in poverty, or whose parents are divorced, or are part of the LGBTQIA2S+ community, along with a host of other circumstances. However, there’s a difference between at-risk youth and those who have a vulnerability. Traffickers and predators are master manipulators who know how to use any weakness.
We each have vulnerabilities, which may change from day to day. A student may have a great home life, get good grades, and be the best player on the soccer team. However, she may still feel insecure from time to time. An unfriendly remark could be a source of pain one day but not bother her a week later. Traffickers and sextortionists know when to swoop in and what to say in order to manipulate her into their nets.
All children have vulnerabilities and any child can be targeted. So, what are some effective ways to keep our children safe?
Safety Measures
- Be available. Have difficult conversations. Show them you’re willing to talk about anything and everything. Remind them frequently that you love them unconditionally, are available when they’re on top of the world and when they’re in trouble, and you are on their side. Protecting teens begins with cultivating a healthy relationship.
- Talk about healthy relationships and how to spot healthy versus unhealthy interactions.
- Educate yourself on the latest social media apps and games. Before your child installs a new app or downloads a new game, ask about it. Try it out yourself.
- Use filters and parental controls. Enable “installing apps” restrictions on their phones.
- Monitor online activity.
- Ask your teens to keep their social media platforms on private and not to share personal information, especially in a personal message.
- “Remind them that sextortion is a crime, it is not their fault and you are here to help them.”[iii]
For more information about sextortion, read this PDF by NetSmartz.
Barb Winters
Barb Winters is a Sexual Risk Avoidance Specialist, author of Sexpectations: Helping the Next Generation Navigate Healthy Relationships, and founder of Hopeful Mom.
[i] https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/sextortion
[ii] https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2024/06/17/surgeon-general-social-media-warning-labels/
[iii] https://www.missingkids.org/content/dam/netsmartz/downloadable/tipsheets/sextortion-what-parents-should-know.pdf
