Identifying and Responding to Triggers
Some run to drugs. Some vape. Some shop.
I eat. My food of choice was ice cream until stomach problems forced me to give it up. Now it’s Ghirardelli chocolate. The dark chocolate mint squares. (Pause with me and mentally savor this treat.)
If I’m perfectly honest, I also turn to social media or streaming shows. When my to-do list is out of control or someone’s less than pleased with me, I want to numb my brain and stop the incessant negative self-talk. So I scroll. Or get lost in a show.
Unfortunately, after I’ve eaten the chocolate and turned the TV off, the problem remains. My list hasn’t magically disappeared, and negative thoughts quickly return.
How do you cope when your anxiety spirals and you’re desperate for relief? What’s your default reaction when triggered?
How about your teen? What sets them off?
Why is it important for us to recognize triggers and what causes them?
We can leave harmful behavior behind by acknowledging its destructive impact and then identifying the causes or the conditions that make us repeat it. Otherwise, we deal with the same issue over and over.
Pinpointing the outside stimuli or emotions that grip us is key to recovery. This applies to both parents and teens who engage in risky behaviors.
A common acronym for some triggers is BLAST.
Bored – We are meant to be active–both physically and mentally. Whether working, studying, interacting with friends, or participating in physical activities, our minds and bodies need engagement. So, when faced with boredom, we may find our children succumb to an activity they’ve learned is pleasing, entertaining, or numbing (at least momentarily).
To combat this trigger, we can help our teens recognize when they are bored. Next, ask them to brainstorm a list of things to do when they’re bored. They may want to call a friend, read a book, take a walk, or learn a new hobby like painting, playing the guitar, etc.
My daughter joined a 4-H sewing group. She spent hours bent over a sewing machine, working on various projects. She also made friends and had a place to spend Saturday mornings. This activity kept her from getting bored.
It’s important to re-direct your child toward something productive.
Lonely – Belonging is a basic need each of us possesses. Loneliness leads to sadness, depression, or feelings of emptiness. These can trigger self-medicating behaviors like drugs, alcohol, eating, sleeping, self-harm, or long periods of screen time.
To combat this trigger, help your child find a place to fit in. Schedule family meals and family activities and include them in discussions. Help them try various after school organizations, sports, or clubs.
Angry – Anger instigates irresponsible and irrational behavior. When we don’t have healthy methods of dealing with anger, we cope by turning to our vice of choice.
To combat this trigger, help your child identify who they are angry with and why. Then help them forgive and diffuse their anger.
Stressed – We experience an extreme amount of internal and external pressure to perform at a certain level, to behave a particular way, and to fit in with peers. This causes stress. Our instinct is to find a quick way out of the anxious situation—to calm our nerves and ease our discomfort. Unfortunately, many of these coping mechanisms are only temporary fixes and do not address the underlying issue.
To combat this trigger, help your teen understand normal levels of stress and teach them anxiety-reducing strategies like breathing exercises.
Tired – Our brains don’t function well when we’re tired. We make irrational and illogical decisions. Someone who is tired may turn to drugs, alcohol, or pornography, believing this will relax their body and help them sleep.
To combat this trigger, help your teen understand the importance of proper sleep. They need 8-10 hours of uninterrupted (no tech in bedrooms!) sleep. For more information on helping your teen sleep better, read this article.
Besides the above-named BLAST triggers, hunger or reminiscent situations may provoke a desire to turn to a vice.
Create A Plan
Regardless of the trigger, learn to pause, name the offensive element, and choose a healthy and effective response.
When craving a Ghirardelli, I ask myself if I’m angry, stressed, hurt, or bored? If the answer is yes, I stop to evaluate what happened and (usually) choose to work through the presenting problem rather than drown my sorrow with chocolate.
Healthy responses may take a while to come naturally, but I believe you and your teen can devise a plan to combat triggers effectively.
The above was adapted from a section in Chapter 7 of the book, Sexpectations: Helping the Next Generation Navigate Healthy Relationships. Note: Sometimes counseling is necessary to overcome compulsive behaviors or addictions.Barb Winters is a Sexual Risk Avoidance Specialist, author of Sexpectations: Helping the Next Generation Navigate Healthy Relationships, and founder of Hopeful Mom. In March 2025, Barb was named in the list of 20 Inspiring Women Dedicated to Making Life Safer for Kids.
